It's a Drag Being a Dog  - Work in Progress

Eric was a dog,



But he didn’t quite fit in.


He was no good at woofing,




Or eating out of bins...


His favourite thing to do was “SIT”,

He didn’t know how to “HEEL”,
The thought of rolling around in mud

Didn’t much appeal.


He tried his best to be a dog,

So Owner would be proud.

But even when he saw a cat

He couldn’t bark that loud.

“Surely I should want to jump 

And roll along the floor,

Chase things that are moving,

Catch a fly with my paw.


I’ve heard that dogs like meaty chunks,

Yet I prefer to feast

On carrots, bread and strawberry jam -

Not on my fellow beast.





All this worry made Eric sick,

He spent his time alone

“I don’t much feel like eating 

When they want me to like bones.”

But then one day as Eric sat

Alone in the hall,

Something moved and caught his eye -

He almost raised his paw.


“This is strange,” thought Eric dog.

“Why - this is very queer,

I’ve never felt an urge to run

Yet I do - and with no fear!”


Then came that flash of light again,

Eric’s feet knew what to do,

Powered by a greater force,

Eric didn’t run - he flew!


Owner couldn’t believe her eyes,

“Am I dreaming in the day?!”

At long last Owner shouted

Words she’d waited years to say:


“Heel, boy! Come back here!
You’ll knock that off the wall!”

But Eric did not turn around

He did not look at all.


Eric had found something 

That made his small heart sing

In his owner’s bedroom -

A heap of clothes shopping!


“Heel, boy?” Eric thought,

“Why I don’t mind if I do!

These stilettos are divine -

They sparkle like morning dew!”


Eric dived head first into

Gloves and hats and scarves,

Dresses, jumpsuits, capes and wigs - 

He didn’t do things by halves.







But soon came Owner’s footsteps….




Against the floor…

Eric gulped and looked around…


Then jumped into a drawer.


“Nice try…” Owner glared,

Pointing firmly at the door.

“Go to granny’s bedroom

She’s got costume jewellery and more!”

And so the tale of Eric

Meets a fabulous and glittery end

Drag Dog, aka.Erica -

Is now a star in the West End!