It's a Drag Being a Dog - Work in Progress
Eric was a dog,
But he didn’t quite fit in.
He was no good at woofing,
Or eating out of bins...
His favourite thing to do was “SIT”,
He didn’t know how to “HEEL”,
The thought of rolling around in mud
Didn’t much appeal.
He tried his best to be a dog,
So Owner would be proud.
But even when he saw a cat
He couldn’t bark that loud.
“Surely I should want to jump
And roll along the floor,
Chase things that are moving,
Catch a fly with my paw.
I’ve heard that dogs like meaty chunks,
Yet I prefer to feast
On carrots, bread and strawberry jam -
Not on my fellow beast.
All this worry made Eric sick,
He spent his time alone
“I don’t much feel like eating
When they want me to like bones.”
But then one day as Eric sat
Alone in the hall,
Something moved and caught his eye -
He almost raised his paw.
“This is strange,” thought Eric dog.
“Why - this is very queer,
I’ve never felt an urge to run
Yet I do - and with no fear!”
Then came that flash of light again,
Eric’s feet knew what to do,
Powered by a greater force,
Eric didn’t run - he flew!
Owner couldn’t believe her eyes,
“Am I dreaming in the day?!”
At long last Owner shouted
Words she’d waited years to say:
“Heel, boy! Come back here!
You’ll knock that off the wall!”
But Eric did not turn around
He did not look at all.
Eric had found something
That made his small heart sing
In his owner’s bedroom -
A heap of clothes shopping!
“Heel, boy?” Eric thought,
“Why I don’t mind if I do!
These stilettos are divine -
They sparkle like morning dew!”
Eric dived head first into
Gloves and hats and scarves,
Dresses, jumpsuits, capes and wigs -
He didn’t do things by halves.
But soon came Owner’s footsteps….
Thud
Thud
THUD
Against the floor…
Eric gulped and looked around…
Then jumped into a drawer.
“Nice try…” Owner glared,
Pointing firmly at the door.
“Go to granny’s bedroom
She’s got costume jewellery and more!”
And so the tale of Eric
Meets a fabulous and glittery end
Drag Dog, aka.Erica -
Is now a star in the West End!
